AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling

water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else
to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember
to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does,
use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Hi all I know it has been a long time since i posted here but i been very very busy and tonight i found few extra minutes to write and post this funny email i just recived. Here it is enjoy and i will try to post soon again see ya ~M~


In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks
about
women over 40:

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman
over 40
doesn't want to watch the game , she doesn't sit around whining about
it.
She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women
over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at
the
opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you
deserve
it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away
with
it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know
what
it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never
have
to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or
two,
a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women
are
forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if
you
are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with
her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,
it's
not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over
40,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself
with
some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who
say,
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update
for
you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women
realize
it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
Femmes & Fellas,